Gotta Catch 'Em All
by HannahSakura2010
Summary: America is a Pokemon trainer out to capture a wild China. China is having none of this. Shennanigans ensue. Roleplay between me and TheLighttotheDark. This is complete crack. Rating will probably go up.
1. Chapter 1

**This is complete and utter crack. Nothing more. I'm not trying to be historically accurate or anything, as you can probably tell.**

**This is on ongoing random role-play between me and my friend TheLighttotheDark. **

**Me: China, Japan**

**TheLighttotheDark: America**

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"Recovery is going quite well, thank you, Yao-san," Japan shot a highly amused look at his elder brother from across the table. China was sitting on the other side of the kotatsu table, an increasingly annoyed look on his face. Japan suppressed the urge to laugh for what seemed like the hundredth time. China's scowl deepened as another ball bounced off of his head. The older man seemed about to lose control and didn't seem to be listening to a word the Japanese was saying. Not that Japan cared. He was way too amused.

"I'm glad aru," China growled. So apparently he had been attempting to listen. "You scared us all for a while there. I'm glad that the radiation is starting to be cleaned out- WILL YOU STOP ARU?!"

This time, Japan could not suppress a laugh and doubled over on the table while China stood to his feet in one fluid motion. The ancient nation glared with murderous intent at a couch in the next room. A figure wearing a hat popped up from behind it.

America pouted, his baseball cap turned backwards like Ash Ketchum. "Japaaaan! You said these would work!" He held up a couple of Poke balls for the Asian nation to see. "None of these are working! I wanna catch me a wild China!" The American shot a longing glance at the Chinese.

China stared at him in disbelief. "You want to what?" he asked. "You think that by throwing Poke balls at me that you can catch me like a Pokémon aru?"

America nodded enthusiastically. "Yep! I'm gonna catch you, China!" He readied another Poke ball.

Japan, meanwhile, had finally regained some composure. "A-America-san," he wheezed. "You have played my games. You should know how this process works by now." Japan turned his eyes on his elder. A sinister grin made its way onto his face. China gulped. "You have to weaken it first," Japan said in a low voice. "Might I suggest tickling him? That usually works."

China squeaked and took a step back from Japan. America ran around the couch.

"Oh yeah! I totally forgot!" The American had a similar grin on his face. "So, China, shall we try this again?" The American made to grab China.

"Alfred used Tickle!" Japan narrated. "China dodged! America used tackle!" He had to stop to laugh at the image of America pinning China to the ground.

Fortunately for the Chinese, he was able to squirm out from underneath America. He whirled to face America as the hero got to his feet again, that grin still plastered on his face. China looked around him frantically for a weapon. Seeing none, he took a fighting stance. America lunged at him and China grabbed his arm, using America's own momentum to hurl the much larger man over his head. America landed on his butt with a yelp of pain.

"China used seismic toss!" Japan yelled. "It was super-effective!" China cast one last disbelieving glance back at Japan before running out of the room as fast as he could. Japan sighed. "Darn! The wild China fled," he said softly. He straightened up. "Are you okay, Alfred-san?"

America carefully stood up and stretched. "Yeah, dude, I'm good!" He cast a longing glance after China. "Drat! I hate it when they flee!"

"You'll just have to track him down again," Japan shrugged. He handed America another Poke ball. "Better luck next time, Pokémon trainer Alfred."

"You better believe it! That wild China cannot escape me for long! I'm the hero!" Alfred crowed and charged out of the door in pursuit of China. "I will find you, China!"

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**Review if you want me to continue posting updates to this. If you don't like it, please be nice.**

**Also, we have smut in our roleplays, so the rating will go up. Pairings: Americhu, Ameripan, NiChu, maybe USUK and AsaKiku.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here is the second chapter! I hope you enjoy it!  
**

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China was cooking with his back to the kitchen door, completely oblivious to his surroundings. Easy prey.

America grinned widely as he watched the older nation at his work. The Chinese man would never see this coming. He gripped the Poke ball tighter in his hand as he observed his prey. China was humming as he worked, chopping vegetables and spreading them on his wok to cook. That was when the smell hit America. China's cooking always smelled so amazing…

America's stomach let out a loud, echoing growl. China jerked around, his amber eyes wide. He scowled when he saw America.

"What are you doing here? Don't just let yourself into my house!" he snapped. "And why are you sneaking around like you are a criminal? What is wrong with you?"

America inwardly cursed as his cover was blown. Before the Chinese could react, he dashed straight at him, brandishing the Poke ball. Unfortunately, he forgot how quick his opponent was. China waited until America was close and then swung his wok forcefully at the superpower's head. It connected with a resounding clang. Chopped vegetables flew around the kitchen. China scowled again.

"Aiyah! Look at my kitchen! You are going to clean up this mess and get me new vegetables," he growled. America had fallen to the ground, clutching his pounding head; the Poke ball on the floor beside him was all but forgotten.

"What were you trying to do anyway?" China asked, still standing above him and frowning down at the super power.

America suddenly remembered the Poke ball.

"I'm gonna catch a wild China!" America yelled gleefully, snatching up the ball and lunging towards the smaller man.

China yelped and jumped back. Unfortunately for him, he slipped on a piece of chopped carrot on the floor and had to grab the counter to keep from falling. America made his move, seeing his opponent with his guard down. He grabbed China about the waist and jabbed his fingers into his sides. China squealed and started writhing in the larger man's grasp. America grinned as he tickled his elder mercilessly.

"Japan was right! You are really ticklish!" America crowed triumphantly.

"S-s-stop a-aru!" China wailed, trying unsuccessfully to throw America off of him. The American kept tickling him, laughing maniacally the entire time.

China sank to the floor and tried to maneuver his feet so that they were between them, but America shoved his legs to the side, preventing the older nation from kicking him. China was fighting to breathe under the enthusiastic onslaught. He was just about to declare surrender when Hong Kong walked into the kitchen, drawn by the commotion. China had never been so happy to see the teenager. America didn't notice the newcomer as he focused on the man underneath him. Hong Kong assessed the situation calmly then crossed the room in a few large strides and karate chopped the American on the back of the head. Knocked unconscious, America slumped forward onto China, who struggled to throw him off.

"You owe me," was all Hong Kong said before walking out of the room again.

"At least help me drag him out the door aru!" China yelled after him. "Hong Kong!" The teenager did not respond. China pouted and finally managed to wriggle out from under the American. _Damn, he was heavy!_

China stood and surveyed the messy kitchen with a sigh. He had wasted a lot of good vegetables thanks to the stupid American. China rubbed his temples. He swore to make the American pay him back. China smirked. He would add it to the massive debt the superpower already owed him. Whistling, he grabbed the American's feet and managed to haul him out of the kitchen and into the next room.

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**That was chapter two of this ridiculous crack fic. Thanks for all of the nice reviews! I wasn't expecting anybody to actually like this, but you guys really seemed to. I'll update as soon as possible. Also, TheLighttotheDark is working on another chapter as well, although she does not currently have a computer so it will be awhile before she can finish hers. Like I said last chapter, the rating of this fic will undoubtedly be M sometime in the future; just a warning for those of you who do not like smut. You will be able to skip over the smut chapters without losing any information. These chapters are all little one-shots. There is not really much plot.  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**She finally gave me a chapter to update! This chapter was written by TheLighttotheDark. Enjoy!**

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*Mission Impossible music plays in background, fake British accent speaking in a whisper*

"This is Poke-nation Trainer America reporting. I have just spotted a wild China meditating in his courtyard with a wild Japan. If I can only have the- elAAAAHHHHHHHH!" *Mission Impossible music stops abruptly as America whirls to face England, who was creeping up behind him*

"America, what the bloody hell are you doing?" England approached America with sheer confusion on his face. Both Asians heard the Englishman and turned to see what was behind them. When they saw America with a huge backpack of Pokeballs attached to his back, they squealed like little girls and ran off to get their weapons to defend themselves.

"England, you like totally killed the mood! I WAS trying to catch China and Japan in Pokeballs, but you totally crashed my crib, man! Now, where did they go?"

America spotted them as they came running out of China's house, with China and Japan wielding a wok and ladle and a katana, respectively. "Why are you here, aru?! And was is going on with that insane amount of Pokeballs, aru?"

"Well, I figure the more ammo I have, the better chances I have of catching you!" America grinned widely as he observed his prey.

"What the-America, you git, what the bloody hell is a Pokeball and why are you buggering them with these Pokeballs? It's not something France came up with, is it? Who knows what that buggering Frenchman thinks even a bloody tenth of the time he's awake."

"A Pokeball is a baseball shaped device that is used in my home country to capture fantastical monsters to then raise and train for fights. America-san seems to think that we are these monsters and has been trying to catch us for fourteen years now."

"Really? America, have you been bloody watching too much anime?"

"Nope! And now I have three Poke-nations to catch! Take this! Triple Pokeball Attack!" America took three Pokeballs out of his backpack and threw them at China, Japan and England.

England then ducked to avoid the Pokeball coming his way and said,"Bloody stupid American! I am leaving now!" The Englishman then summoned a magic circle, chanted a few words and left.

Japan sliced the Pokeball that was headed his way into a million pieces with his katana while China caught his in his ladle.

America, not at all daunted, then pressed a remote button and a cage fell from the sky in an attempt to trap the two Asian nations in it. Japan, with his ninja sence, felt the cage about to drop and warned his older brother. Only problem was that, at that moment, America slid and tripped up the older nation, discarding his bag of Pokeballs. A bunch of dust filled the cage, obscuring the Japanese man's vision. When the dust settled, he was shocked to see two China's fighting with each other.

"You stupid Westerner! How dare you copy me, aru!"

"I am not a stupid Westerner, aru! You are!

"Am not, aru!"

"Are too, aru!"

Both China's called out to Japan, " Tell him he is the stupid Westerner, little brother, aru!" *intense China glares at the other, one with the ladle and one with the wok*

The poor Japanese man was totally confused as both looked like his older brother. "Take your shirts off, please." Both did as instructed. "Now turn around." They did as bidden. To Japan's horror, both had the scar on their backs from when he wanted to be free from China. "You can put your shirts back on now, thank you." They both put their shirts back on, still looking identical.

_Damn American. I can't tell you apart from my order brother like this! Think, was there anything that China would do with me that no one but us would know?! _

Then, suddenly, Japan thought of It. It was something that China had done when Japan was little that no other nation would know. But before he could do it, suddenly a recorded message started to play, "Hello, this is your friendly neighborhood America speaking! If you want China back, you must choose the RIGHT one. Good luck!"

_Damn that stupid American, like I can even tell which one is the correct one! Wait, calm down, deep breath, now focus._

Japan then proceeded to think over what the American had said when he remembered that America was part British.

_That's right! England-san used to do riddles with me all the time!_

"I have made my decision."

Two voices yelled out, "About time, aru!"

"I choose, THE ONE ON THE RIGHT!"

Suddenly the China on the left morphed back into America. "Ah man, that was too easy! Oh well, at least I caught you for at least ten minutes, man! Here's your ladle back!"

The cage was lifted up and Japan then rushed in and ninja poofed both Asians away from the insane American as he laughed insanely, squealing like a little fangirl.

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**TheLighttotheDark: Just some explanations about the two China's. America used Nation Morph to become China as he is a melting pot of all the nations and, with his slight English magic, can morph into the other nations. This was to confuse Japan. It was super effective.**


	4. Chapter 4

**So I have four classes this semester. Two of them are literature (aka writing) and one is Creative Writing (aka more writing). I will not be writing much other than what my professors tell me to, so if I don't update any of my fics for a while that is why. Just a heads up, I probably haven't died. Yet.**

**We're working on an M-rated chapter. It will probably be next. Just a friendly heads up. If you don't like M-rated content, then you can skip the chapter. These are all just a series of one shots, so you won't have missed anything. I'll put a warning up when the chapter contains smut.**

* * *

China sighed and stretched to get the last streamer down from the entryway to his kitchen. Why Hong Kong had insisted that they put streamers on the door frames to walk through was beyond him. Normally, he would make his younger brother clean up his own decorations, but Hong Kong had conveniently disappeared when he was supposed to be cleaning up from the recent New Year's celebration. China was left to clean his house all by himself.

The front door was suddenly slammed open, and China yelped and whirled around in shock, automatically assuming a fighting stance. "Anyone home?" a familiar voice yelled from the front of the house.

China scowled and stormed towards the front door. "What do you want, America?" he snarled. "Do not just let yourself in to my house!"

America blinked at the angry Chinese. "Hong Kong said something about a party and dancing lions. I wanted to check it out."

"Dancing lions?" China asked in confusion. "Oh! You probably mean the lion dance? That took place during New Year's. New Year's is already over."

America laughed. "Well, yeah!" he said. "New Year's was a month and a half ago, dude!"

China shook his head and sighed at the idiot Westerner. "I do not celebrate the Western New Year. The Chinese have their own New Year. It just ended."

America pouted. "So, no dancing lions?"

"No dancing lions," China confirmed with a sigh, rubbing at his temples.

"Can I at least have food?" America asked, turning his cerulean eyes on the older man. "Please? I came all the way out here! Come on! I'm starving! Please?"

China scowled. "Fine," he growled, "Stop whining!"

America followed China into his kitchen, practically bouncing with happiness. "Oh, and Yao?"

China turned to face the younger man, startled at the use of his human name. "Wha-?"

America wrapped his arms around his elder's waist and kissed him. It was very brief and chaste, but still took China's breath away.

"I caught you," America muttered, lips brushing against the smaller man's as he spoke.

China drew back. "What?" he yelped. He squirmed uncomfortably in the tight hold the younger man had on him. "Let go, America!"

"Nuh-uh!" America pouted and pulled him over to the nearby couch.

"I thought you were hungry?" China asked weakly as America planted his head firmly in China's lap, stretched out on the couch with his arms still firmly around China's waist.

"I can wait," America murmured into China's stomach, making himself comfortable.

China huffed, but gently started carding his fingers through America's soft hair. "You're such a child aru," he muttered.

China felt America shake with silent laughter. "Oh, but you love it!" he teased. "Admit it!"

"Shut your mouth," China said affectionately and allowed himself to relax with the American's head still pillowed on his lap. His amber eyes fluttered closed and he allowed a peace to flow over him…

At least, until Hong Kong decided to come home. "Ni-ni, what's-? Oh," the teenager shifted his weight awkwardly as he stared at the scene in the living room. "Hello, America."

"Hi, Hong Kong!" America called, turning his head to grin at the port city. "Your brother is an awesome pillow!"

"I see that," Hong Kong said slowly. "I'll just leave you two alone, shall I?" The teenager beat a hasty retreat. China could hear the front door slam closed behind him and sighed. He moved to get up, but America pulled him back down.

"Stay?" the young man begged, turning cerulean puppy eyes on China. China was helpless to resist as he sat back down and allowed America to continue using him as a pillow.

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**A little AmeChu for you there. Again, the main characters in these stories are America and China, with frequent appearances by England and Japan too. Maybe a surprise appearance by TheLighttotheDark's Texas OC. The pairings can differ, but they will usually be any combinations of those four characters. Heads up: the next chapter that we are working on is AmeChu smut, so be prepared! I'll warn you what pairing each chapter of smut will be.  
**


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